All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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