I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
where are you?
Hypothermia
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
