Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
