There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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