He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
