She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
