Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
