I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
