We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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