I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
As shirtless as possible
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He keeps bees of course he's weird
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Randomize