ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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