i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
