You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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