I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
