He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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