The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
