i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
