who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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