Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
