when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She needs sedatives and a leash
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
