Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
