I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
