You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
