So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
