Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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