dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
