I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
