If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You took a bar mat shot.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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