Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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