once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
