trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
