i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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