I'm lost and stupid without you.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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