Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
