will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
