Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize