Do vagina's smell?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
