Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
