is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
