Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
