It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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