Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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