Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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