did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
What a dumb baby whore.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
