I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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