no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
