guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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