I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
