Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
