I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
