thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
