Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
