bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
