I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Are my feet made of real feet?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
