He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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